The rain poured down on me as I walked down the lonely street. It was a storm outside, with lightning and thunder blasting in the sky. The lightning struck the poles and the ground sometimes, but it didn't bother me. I felt numb and cold. Nothing, no pain, no happiness, no emotions at all.

I was empty.

I had nothing left, no one left. One minute I was happy, living in the spotlight, celebrating and swimming in love, and the next, I was homeless without a penny to my name. Alone, I wander the streets like a hobo, face covered to hide the shame that is me. I caused it, I caused everything. I should have just minded my business and stay on my own, I should have gone the other way that night. I thought it was fate, I thought it was the heavens smiling down at me and leading me to take the wrong path, so I could meet him, but it wasn't. He planned it all.

I still remember that night, the night my car broke down in the middle of a quiet road, how he drove past and helped me. Like that, I thought that it was destiny, but boy was I wrong.

"I don't care about that bitch, Peyton, I have proven that to you, times without number, why do you keep doubting my love for you!" His voice echoed in my head. The words that made me halt on my joyful sway to his office; the furious words that made me froze at the door.

"Then why are you holding back! You already used her to access her father's wealth, the papers are all yours, what's holding you back! I thought you promised to give me the papers to her mother's factory, what are you still waiting for! You already have all the documents!" My heart stopped when I heard that. I didn't remember giving him my father's documents, just my mother's factory's, and telling him where my father kept his.

The world crashed on me that moment, and I remain frozen at the door, listening to the love of my life speaking about how much he hated me and why he was hesitating. His reason didn't make any sense, but it was true, and I was a fool. Peyton, the woman he introduced to me as his best friend, was his lover, the real woman he loved. And of course, I stood there in shock until she came out and found me there, still in shock. But it didn't matter, no more lying, no more pretending, they showed me their true colors.

I lost everything, my family lost everything. My stepmother died of a heart attack and the shock killed one of my half-brother. Disowned, nothing left than to wander, to trek all the way to the city I buried my mother, to die with her.

The storm had nothing on me, hunger shook me not, I didn't rest or sleep, just kept walking. I shut the pain out, shut down everything that the memories replaying in my head over and over again to fuel my decision to die. There was nothing left for me to do than to leave.

Bright light shone on me, but it didn't stop me from walking like the miserable person I was. My vision was blurry, my body weak and failing me, but I kept walking, I went on. I felt nausea all of a sudden, it hit me hard as fast and hard as a menstrual cramp. I double over, bending down to my knees and holding my stomach. My breathing came out in wheeze, short breath that almost felt like my lungs were blocked.

A loud car honking filled my ears and mind as my thoughts completely zero in on nothing. A loud bell rang in my head, hitting my skull in a way that made my brain throb. Emotional pain, I numb myself to it, but not to physical one. The pain ended as quick as it came because blackness was the only thing I saw and dwelled in for the next couple of hours.

~~~~

I stared at the result in my shaking hands, my heart hammering against my chest. Beads of sweat surrounded my forehead and down to my neck and chest. Stomach seemed like it was throbbing too. Tears flowed down my cheeks and fell on the test result. Someone saved me, someone picked me up from the corner of the road and took me to the hospital.

Pregnant, I was pregnant.

I could abort it, I shouldn't carry the children of the man who ruined my life, but it wasn't their fault. It was mine, I let myself get pregnant, I wanted the baby because I thought he would be there for me. It should have been like that; him and me together, but it was not.

I would take my life the way I see it.